Remote control

So I have once again lost the remote control to my TV in my room. This wouldn’t be that big of a deal, except for the fact that I always fall asleep with my TV on. I usually activate my sleep timer, but now I wake up with the remnants of whatever channel I was watching the night before. Case in point: Nick at Nite. I frickin’ love Nick at Nite because I get to watch reruns of Fresh Prince, Home Improvement (I love you Randy Taylor) and Full House, and I’m even starting to watch shows I didn’t like when I was younger like The Cosby Show, Family Matters, and Roseanne. But, when I wake up in the morning, it is usually some crazy kid cartoon. Which brings me to another point: have you watched cartoons lately? They are absolutely crazy. Mind boggling. Intense. Wild characters. And, as a marketing/advertising lady, the commercials freak me out! Who is in charge of the creative behind these messages? Maybe I haven’t been a kid in a while, but I can’t imagine relating to “EXTREME” fonts and a guy screaming about a toy no one likes.

Moving on, I don’t like waking up with some weird show, or waking up during the night with some infomercial on. This lack of remote control also reminded me of a blog I wrote several years ago about losing remote controls.

Here it is (bear with me, no edits allowed):

So, the search is finally over!! After 3 days, and many long, frustrating searches, I found my remote control for my T.V. wedged in-between my mattress and bed frame!! It got me thinking, what did people do before remotes? What guy was “that guy” that was so damn lazy, he needed a little box to do something that requires little effort? Were people always this lazy, or did the remote control spawn the need for such a device? People, what I mean here is, what came first, the remote control, or the laziness that required the usage of the gadget?! Manually changing the channel is not that difficult, yet I found myself watching hip hop jams and repeating infomercials because I was too pissed to walk across the room and flip the damn switch. I’m stoked because my search is over, and now I can channel flip freely!!

And here is the response a friend of mine wrote, which was amazing then and now:

My cynicism made it impossible for for me to think anything other than that the remote control was spawned out of gross laziness, and humanity’s constant drive to make things “easier.” And, although this was not far from the truth, after further research, it was ultimately proven to be wrong.

According to (the greatest thing to happen to the internet since cybersexual intercourse) the “remote control” was actually patented in 1893 by a company that claimed to have developed it to operate moving vehicles. A noble cause, however, their ambitions wouldn’t fully come to fruition for another 40 years with the development and success of the first remote-controlled model airplane.

It wasn’t until the early 1950′s — not surprisingly close in time to the first color television broadcast — that Zenith created the first (wired) remote control for the household television — appropriately dubbed “Lazy Bones”. Wireless models of Zenith’s remote control would show up soon after.

As I struggle to come up with a conclusion to this post, I can’t help thinking that it goes back once again to my intense cynicism. Sure, it’s comforting to learn that the first remote control was actually created with a somewhat noble intent, but humanity didn’t wait long to adapt it to meet their lazy needs. I suppose this is inevitable, though, as history plainly shows. It’s no secret that as humanity evolves, technology advances, and greed intensifies, good things eventually get put to evil use. Consider this scenario: Out of American democracy comes a character who goes by the name George W. Bush, who claims his judgement to be influenced by a divine power, and the entire world hangs on his every word for the simple fact that he could — in the name of democracy — annihilate the human race with the push of a button on a highly sophisticated remote control.


So years later, and here I am, remoteless again, still watching infomercials at 2am because I can’t find the damn remote. And I AM too lazy to get up and turn it off or change the channel. I’d rather watch sham-wow infomercials or reruns of Bravo shows than change the channel whenever the show changes. Ad exec’s would love this post because I am being forced to watch their commercials. Perhaps in the future I will invest in one of these so something like this doesn’t happen again:

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